


oh mirror in the sky

by harpers_mirror (SapphireBryony)



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Multi, unhealthy relationship dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 15:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13010910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireBryony/pseuds/harpers_mirror
Summary: He looked at me like that sometimes, like I was something amazing he couldn’t believe he was seeing.





	oh mirror in the sky

**Author's Note:**

> This started as one thing and ended up somewhere slightly different. Is this a tough moment in an otherwise healthy relationship? A sign of bad and codependent things to come? You decide.
> 
> Title taken from "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac.

I walked into the kitchen, peering at the grocery bags in my hands as I did. Where had they put my milk? If it wasn’t hiding under the potatoes in the entirely-too-heavy bag in my left hand, it wasn’t anywhere, and I’d have to turn right around and go back to the store.

Annoyed, I thumped the bags down slightly harder than was strictly necessary, and went looking for one of the men of my household.

“Nik?” I called out. No answer. “Doug? Where are you guys?” Both of their cars were in the garage, though I supposed they could have walked somewhere. Seemed unlikely, though, it was awfully cold - 

“Renée?” Nik came hurriedly down the stairs. “Oh thank god.”

“Hey, you,” I smiled at him. Then his words sank in. “What’s going on? Is everything - ”

“It’s Doug,” said my husband.

My blood ran cold and things seemed to get very quiet.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, even while my mind raced at a million miles a second. Was he hurt? Sick? God knew he had a propensity for it. The memory of Doug choking to death on his own blood came rushing back and I felt queasy.

“I don’t know,” my husband admitted. “Everything was fine. We were watching the Bruins game like we’d planned. And then about ten minutes after you left for the store, he got a phone call. He left the room to take it and never came back.”

“Wait, so he’s gone? But his car is in the garage.”

Nik sighed and led me upstairs. “When he still hadn’t come back after fifteen minutes or so, I went looking for him. Found him in the bedroom, just staring at the wall. He’s been there for the last half an hour. He won’t talk to me, won’t look at me. It’s like he’s completely in his own little world.” 

He stopped and turned to face me, reaching to cup my face in his hands. They were shaking lightly. “Darling, I... I hope you know what to do. Because I’ll tell you true, I’m at a loss and frankly, more than a little scared.”

I wanted to reassure him that it would be okay, but the potential lie stuck in my throat. I swallowed hard, then leaned forward to kiss him. “Nik,” I murmured. “I’ll do my best. I...” I didn’t know what else to say, so instead I turned abruptly and opened the bedroom door.

Doug was exactly as Nik had described him, laying on his side and facing the window, facing away from me. Closing the door, I made my way over to the bed and sat down carefully. Reaching over, I touched his shoulder.

“Doug? What’s wrong?” 

He didn’t give any indication he’d heard me. I noticed his cell phone sitting on the bed near his hand and I picked it up. Normally I’d never go through his phone without permission, wouldn’t even think of doing so, but nothing about this situation was normal.

Opening the call log, I found a call lasting just under eight minutes with a timestamp that matched what Nik had described. The log listed the caller as “Jim,” no other information given. 

I didn’t know anyone named Jim. And I’d never heard Eiffel mention one either.

I touched his arm again, more forcefully this time. “Doug. What happened. Who is Jim?”

That seemed to stir something to life in the silent man laying next to me. He turned, rolling onto his other side and finally looked at me, like he was just realizing I was there.

“Jim?” he asked, voice hoarse. Seeing his face now, I could tell he’d been crying and the sight made my heart hurt. “Did he call again? What did he say, Minkowski, tell me!” He started to sit up, movements suddenly frantic.

“Whoa, whoa! Take it easy, Eiffel. No, Jim didn’t call, and I have no idea who he is. I saw his name in your phone.”

He slumped back against the pillows, looking utterly defeated. “Of course he didn’t. He said there was nothing else he could do...”

Reaching out, I laid my hand on Eiffel’s cheek and turned his face slightly to look at me. He met my gaze rather vacantly.

“Doug. You need to talk to me. Who’s Jim? What  _ happened?” _ I took a deep breath to calm my voice before continuing. “You’re scaring me, Doug.”

Tears welled up in his eyes again, and he turned his face against my hand like he was trying to hide in it.

“Jim’s a private eye,” he said. “I... shit, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him, Minkowski, I really am. I wasn’t hiding it, I  _ swear, _ I just didn’t want to talk about it until I knew more, but now that’s gone all to shit so it doesn’t even matter...” He covered his face with his hands, curling into a miserable ball. From the way his shoulders shook slightly, I knew he was crying again.

“Doug...” I said, helplessly. I turned so that I was sitting with my back against the headboard and pulled him into my arms. He fell against me like I was the only thing holding him up, like if I wasn’t there, he’d just fall and fall until he hit rock bottom.

It was terrifying. He’d had bad days since we’d returned to Earth, sure, and he fell into depressed funks over plenty of things. And he and I were certainly the reigning Screaming Nightmare King and Queen of Massachusetts. But this kind of empty, desperate hopelessness... I hadn’t even seen this from him when we’d all been slowly dying in the depths of space.

I held him close and buried one hand in his hair, stroking it gently. My fingers caught on a tangle but he didn’t seem to notice. I wrapped the other arm around him tightly and just sat there, feeling helpless.

Pressing my lips against his forehead, I whispered all kinds of soothing nonsense - that everything would be okay, that he wasn’t alone, that I loved him.

At that, he pulled back, staring at me. Through the pain I could see a sort of wonder in his gaze. He looked at me like that sometimes, like I was something amazing he couldn’t believe he was seeing, the way a person might look at a famous work of art, or the aurora borealis. It always made me feel a little uncomfortable, like I wanted to look away or hide, and that I’d tricked him somehow, made him think I was something more important than I was.

He tugged me toward him and kissed me, and it was desperate and rough and clumsy. He was like a black hole of need, pulling me in, grasping and frantic, but I didn’t mind. I still didn’t know what was going on, but I did know that I’d do anything to mitigate some of the pain that was radiating from him.

Breathing raggedly, he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. Tears were still dripping from beneath his lowered lashes.

“She’s gone, Renée,” he breathed. “She’s gone, she’s  _ gone." _

“Who’s gone, Doug?”

"Annie,” he whispered, and my stomach dropped.

“Oh Doug,” I said helplessly. “I...”

He kept talking like he hadn’t even heard me. “The PI that called, he was trying to find her and - find her for me. Not because I was gonna do anything, I promise, you have to believe me - “

“Shh, Doug.” I knew if I didn’t interrupt him, he’d get stuck on an apology tangent forever. I smoothed back some of the hair that had fallen into his face. “Of course I believe you. So he was looking for her and...?”

“And he hit a... he hit a dead end,” said Eiffel. He slid down slightly, pillowing his head against my shoulder. I resumed our earlier position and he went on, reluctantly. 

“Someone made them vanish. Annie and - and her mom, both of them. They’re just...” He waved a hand vaguely.  _ "Poof. _ Nobody knows, and the ones who do aren’t telling. I don’t know if it was Goddard or someone else, but they’re just...” He trailed off, and squeezed his eyes shut tight.

“Gone,” I finished quietly. 

“Yup.” He dragged a hand over his face, wiping at the tear tracks. “And like,” he continued, “I never planned to contact her. I... I just wouldn’t. I gave up that right a long,  _ long _ time ago. But I just... I don’t know! I wanted to be able to look at a map and know which city was her home. I wanted to be able to Google her school and make sure it was, like, good and stuff. I wanted... Jesus, I wanted to know that my daughter was safe and living happily ever after and instead I have nothing.” His voice cracked on the last word. 

“Doug, I...” I what? Jesus, there was no protocol for this, no schema. I was winging it here, and I  _ hated _ winging it. “I don’t know what to tell you,” I admitted. “I really don’t. But I guess you just have to believe that, someday, she’ll find  _ you. _ If she’s half as stubborn as her father, Anne Eiffel isn’t just going to give up if she really wants to find you.”

Eiffel choked on what I suspected was a laugh, and his arms wrapped around my middle. “Sounds about right, boss.” He looked up at me. “You really think she might? Want to know me, I mean?”

Oh boy. “I don’t know her, Doug,” I said carefully. “So I don’t want to give you false hope. But, let’s just say  _ I _ certainly think you’re worth knowing. So I wouldn’t be surprised.”

He sighed, and burrowed back against me. “I guess I’ll just have to wait and see, won’t I?”

Something about that didn’t sit right with me. It sank into the pit of my stomach and sat there, uncomfortable and weighty. I made myself sound positive. “I guess, Eiffel. I guess time will tell.”

I wrapped my arms around him and we sat there in silence for a long moment. His breathing was starting to even out a little, and the color was back in his face. I couldn’t shake the sense of false hope, and wondered how long Eiffel would hold the thought in the back of his mind that his daughter would come to him one day. I suspected that particular dream would never die until Doug himself did, and I could only hope I hadn’t made things worse.

Dropping a kiss on the top of his head, I carefully extricated myself from him. 

“Hey,” I said, brushing a hand over his cheek. “I’ll be right back, okay?”  I got up and started to open the door, then paused.

“Doug? What, um, what would you like me to tell Dominik? And should I tell him not to come in, or...?”

He sighed. “Tell him... I guess tell him whatever you want. I trust you. But...” He hesitated. “I don’t... I dunno if I really feel up to talking about it again. Would it be a huge pain in the ass if I didn’t see him right away? I’ll move to the guest room, I’m not gonna kick him out of his own bedroom.” He started to get up.

I shook my head. “Doug, it’s fine. Nik won’t care. I’ll fill him in and then we’ll leave you alone, okay? I’ll bring you some tea and leave, okay?”

He looked crestfallen. “Oh, yeah. That’s fine, boss. I didn’t mean - but yeah, no, go with him. I will take that tea though.”

Oh. “I’m sorry, Doug, I didn’t mean it like - look, let me go talk to Nik. I’ll bring back the tea and stay with you if that’s what you want. Whatever you want.”

He looked up at me quickly. “Promise?”

“Promise,” I replied. “Whatever you need.”

Turning, I opened the door and exited the dissipating cloud of darkness and sorrow. 

I found my husband downstairs, sitting in his favorite chair in the living room. The television was off, and it was getting dark around him. I switched on the lamp nearest him and perched on the arm of his chair.

“Hey,” I said quietly. He looked up at me with a small smile. It looked slightly strained.

“Hey,” he responded, pulling me into his lap. I slid over willingly, feeling worn out. “Everything okay?”

I sighed and shook my head. “Yes? No? I don’t know. For the moment, yes, I think. Eiffel’s...well he’s talking again, but that doesn’t mean much coming from him. Long term? I have no idea.”

“Forgive me if this is privileged information, but, darling, can you fill me in on what’s going on around here?”

I sighed again. “It’s a long story. But Doug gave me permission to sum it up for you. Let me put the kettle on and I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want me to get it for - ”

I cut him off. “I’ve got it, Nik. I’ll be back in a minute.” Walking briskly into the kitchen, I filled the kettle, flipped the switch, and leaned against the counter to wait.

A minute passed, and then two. Nik entered the dark kitchen just as I was wiping tears from my cheeks, and swept me up in a tight hug.

“Darling, it’s okay,” he murmured. “Whatever’s going on, it’s okay, we’ll fix it together.”

I laughed harshly. “There’s nothing we can do, Nik. His family is gone. Goddard disappeared them while we were gone and now there’s nothing to do but reassure Doug that someday, his daughter will of course want to talk to him and will track him down and the whole thing will play out like a bad movie. And I’m letting him believe that because there is  _ literally _ nothing else I can possibly do, but I feel like I’m setting him up to get his heart broken, and just thinking about him pining for years for his little girl to come back is - ”

“A bit too _Sweeney Todd_ for real life?” cut in my husband. 

I stepped back out of his embrace. “I was going to say ‘heart-breaking.’ What is wrong with you?”

He looked away, face going a red that was visible even in the dim light. “I apologize, I was trying to lighten the mood. A poor attempt, I see.”

“Very,” I said, pouring two mugs of tea. He started to reach for one. “Wait, Nik. I was taking that one upstairs for Doug. Um, take mine.”

Nik pulled his hand back, slowly. “It’s fine, I can make another cup. There’s still water in the kettle, no? Here, let me at least help you carry these.”

I shook my head. “I’ve got this. Anyway, Doug doesn’t... he asked to be alone. Is that a problem? He was worried but I said it shouldn’t be.”

“Perfectly understandable,” he said. “I can build up a fire in the grate for us when you come back down. It’s getting cold now that the sun’s down.”

“Oh,” I said awkwardly, realizing my words had been ambiguous. “Sorry, Nik, I told Doug I’d stay with him. He’s... it’s a lot for him to handle, especially alone.”

My husband looked confused. “But you just said...” Realization dawned. “Ah. Never mind. I see. I’ll stay down here tonight. Do... do whatever you need to do. Let me know if I can help.”

“Thank you, Nik.” I smiled up at him. “Thanks for understanding.”

He smiled back at me, and I pretended not to notice how it didn’t reach his eyes. “Whatever you need, darling. Good night.”

I was halfway up the stairs before I realized I hadn’t answered him back.


End file.
